Farrago’s Words of Wisdom

Life at the university, really not much to say. But what happen during the course of a mere 3 years of university beside listening to boring lectures, attending tutorial that is so early in the morning, you gotta wake up before the sun, is a whole lot of story to tell to your kids.

The story at mid-year, thus began. Like all late teenagers of my age, who is constantly being controlled by the fluctuations in hormone level, I tend to find myself stuck in a situation that i would rather not be. Yet at the same time it is also a situation that offers you many opportunities that you wont normally get, like being slapped, or getting stabbed in the heart. Well, people are familiar to this kind of story, too many to remember, too much to hear, all the same, and most of the time, end up in tears.

Love, the mystical feeling, occurs at random, unexplainable even by the theory of Brownian motion, stuff that makes grown, bulky, muscly, scary looking man pee in their pants and something that the rest of us, the male population often find themselves at the mercy of the opposite sex. Everything looks so complicated and entangled in love, that people all over the universe are trying to unravel the mysteries, when all things have been said and done, it boil down to very simple things. So one fine afternoon, a wise friend of mine, brought me a copy of farrago to show me what love is really is from the perspective of the armchair philosopher.

“Where dating used to be merely breaking down some gates, or giving somebody a piece of cloth as a token of favour, these days it is more like a game. It is delicate dance of wits, appearance, subtleties, and, more often than not, bluffs and bull. But stripped down to its basic form, that game is more akin to a point-scoring activity than a labyrinth.”  Think about these wise words for a moment. Most of you will think, ‘yeah of course’, ‘i know that already’,’ this is child play, who is so free as to read a crappy article such as this’? Accumulating point from the opposite sex, is a lot harder than playing games that requires the multitasking capabilities of a machine. You never know when you hit it, and you will never know when you missed it…completely. And such the philosopher continues his views

‘ However, the greatest disadvantage to a male during a date relates to the ‘mating’ part of ‘dating and mating’. A female will usually have worked out whether they want to engage in further relationship with their suitor in the first five minutes of meeting them.’ Honestly, i dunno if this is really true, or this is the absolute bullshit the armchair man of farrago is creating while smoking a ton of bong at his backyard. But if there is any truth to it, then i guess, most men are already doomed, no matter how hard they try. ‘Hence, getting lucky is one more worry on the poor guy’s mind during a date, along with the likes of ” Am I being witty and deep enough?”, Am i paying enough attention to her?”

Knowing such and such, from a publication well known only among the melbourne university community might not really be helping can it? But it seems that it really is the case. Woman, with all their intricate dresses, wits, dances and what nots, carry devastating weapons in their arsenal, hidden probably in the handbags, and their statements should be declared illegal if there were any fairness in the world. Statements like “What do you want from me?”, “Where is this relationship going?”, and “I’m only fifteen” are guaranteed to sink a man’s dating plans faster than the Titanic, and strike more fear into his heart than a big guy called Bubba telling him that he’s dropped the soap. Reminiscent of a freckled kid trying to burn ants with a magnifying glass than romance.

This is something that is clearly deep within the woman territory , that unless you have the money of a Bill Gates, the look of Brad Pitt in Ocean 13, most men are likely to be engaged in modern combats against this unlikely foe. Save for few famous last words, when everything have been said and done, women are complicated and men are idiots’.

Idiots indeed, fed with so much experience that can fuel endless story with my future kids (if i ever get a wife in the first place), i once again found myself at the feet of a rather ravishing female, not knowing how i fell in the first place. And the story continues…


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