Acidz end of year entry

Finally this year is coming to an end and i have only 3 days left in the REB and im done with my university life. My exam start on monday and i was in the middle of a busy studying session when i start to feel the urge to write something lengthy.

As some of you might know and for those of you who dont know, i live my life on the principle that i do everything with no regret or as little regret as possible. But as life has taught me, it is impossible to live a life without regret, but when you are about to make that important decision you wouldnt realise it would be regretful until many many years later.

I grew up in a nice yet strict Asian family, i done everything by the book and i did okay in school. I was pretty average normal boy growing in average family until the end of my primary school. You know living in with your family most of the time is like living in a safe cocoon, you come back each day theres food on the table, theres bed that has been cleaned and made up, theres everyone to listen to you when you feel alone, but it also hinders you from living the real life experiences.

The next 8 years of my life was one of weird adventures, and i met people from all walks of life. I have known people who earn less than a dollar a day, i known people who spends thousands of dollar in handbag, i made friends with gang leader, i also have friends with church leader, i met drug addict, i met playboy and playgirl too, i met people who are ever left to dreamt when they are going to be together with their dream girl, I met chain smoker, i met kindergaten kids, as well as lecturer over 70 years of experience, wisened by their overgrowing moustache, i made friends with people from all religion, from christian, muslim, hindu, buddhist, catholics, and even people with no religion, i made friends who never finish secondary school, i made friends who are so smart they never bother to bring lecture notes to class, i met tech wizard, anime otaku. And out of all of them, i get a slice of their view of life, why they do what they do, what does life meant to them and i compare my own story with them.

And at certain times, i feel a sense of regret because life offers endless possibilities. The way i see it, lets say you are at point A in your life, and you will end up at point B somewhere in your life. But the way from A to B are endless. You can try endless variations and you might reach point B, even if it takes longer, or harder. Sometimes i wish i could try what is it like to be a guy that gets all the girls, what is it like to be to score really high in your exam, what is it like to lead a group, what is it like to really have little care for your life but in the end, i did what i did. And i am myself, even while i contemplate to be one, i couldnt bring myself to do all that.

Perhaps im too simple, neither idealist or pessimist, and all i want in life is probably what most average person wants, a comfortable life with the person you love, a decent job and a car, preferably with no mortgage. But even these simple dreams arent so easy to attain. I guess the point to take note from this entry is that, live life as you see fit, and enjoy the most while you are at it. You only live young once, and there is many possibilities, but just take care of yourself and dont get killed or traumatized by what you do and you will be fine.


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