The last two weeks has been tough, exceedingly tough. The indonesian rupiah is free-falling, the index down, and the interest rate has risen so fast.
For my fledgling property start-up this is bleak news. Many of the partners are not feeling very confident about the future outlook, as am I. It is at this point that i started feeling rather sad about it. Although we are still running, i doubt we are going to take up any project this year. The risk is just too high. And in property you cant afford to fail.
So while my fellow partners has mostly quietly gone about doing their everyday business, i who is feeling a little unemployed, thought what could i do now, a million questions popping up in my head till the early hours of the moninrg, should i find a job, should i try to start another business, if its a job what job, is my skill suitable, is my skills enough and so on.
I can finally realize the full impact of what my former lecturer said in entrepreneurship class. You have to be a crazy to venture down this path. The path is fraught with danger, abnormally high level of stresses and unknown traps that lies await.
So as I ponder my decision to become an entrepreneur, and sometimes asking God if this is really my path, i read a magazine that was given to me, last weekend in a seminar. It was a motivation magazine, and in it, story after story of successful businessmen, who has a much much tougher start than I am continue to persevere.
Then today, when i was in the taxi, back again when i was pondering, I saw a blue bird magazine in the back seat pocket, opened up to the first page and again i found encouraging words.
” Do not be afraid of failure, it is better for you to try and fail because at least you are making efforts towards your dream, rather than not try and sealing your dream to the boxes”.
I think the short quote above does encapsulates the essence of entrepreneurial endeavor. It was never going to be easy. Its never going the way you wanted it to be. Life will never be fair to you. There is always somebody better, faster, well-resourced and far more connected than you.
Nevertheless, looking back at my decision now, i knew that deep down in my heart, starting and running a business was all i could ever think about. I thought about it day and night, in the restaurant, in the shower, in the cinema, at the mall, at the office, even while talking with people. I sometimes wonder whether it is a gift or a curse, that I am such a dreamer.
And i thought to myself, if i really only live once, it would be such a huge regret in my life if i stopped trying. In my old age, i can picture myself saying why didn’t I do this or that. And as much as an entrepreneurial endeavor is painful, i think living life full of regrets of not trying to fulfill my dream would be even worse.
And so, I will soldier on.