Seeking Myself


After watching the really great film Winter Sleep, i somehow imagine myself in the shoes of Mr. Aydin, former theater actor of 25 years, who now own a small hotel in Anatolia, Turkey.

Though having the appearance of an old man, inside, he was still struggling to deal with settling back into his apparently much lesser life. His constant struggle to find new things to do, a sister who herself lived through a divorce and a young wife, idealistic but naive.

I reflected at myself, long after the credits roll were finished, that I at some points are seeking the remnants of my former glory. Although I am only 27, I knew and remembered I once had it all. I was doing very well at uni, i was well-respected by both teachers and fellow students alike, I had a girlfriend once, and I was living in Melbourne, the city that until now i still misses.

It is truly one of life great mysteries, how wheel of life keep turning, once you are on top, now you are at the bottom, struggling to make your way up to the top again.

Beyond that, I longed for a partner, who would understand me, and connect with me on a level i have not had since, and due to a mix of semi-permanent stubborness, and a foolish desire for the occasional rare comets, i am still a single. Drifting in and out of social events soon grew tiring.

May God and I, have mercy on myself. Give yourself a chance man. You can do better than sitting on a balcony watching the moon came in and out behind the cover of cloudy skies and darkness. Find yourself a girl who will sit with you, who will offer her lap for you to rest your weary head and heavy shoulders.

From Me to Myself



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